The Hook is a real bellman at a busy hotel in Niagara Falls. He will take us behind the scenes regularly with tales of some of the millions of visitors to the city. The stories are true. He couldn’t possibly make this stuff up. Evidently, he likes comic books, too.
THE HOOK/Special to Bullet News
It was quiet at the Bell Desk. The bulk of the weekend’s check-ins had been accounted for the previous night, so that left the usual suspects to be dealt with.
- Horny frat boys who were sure to strike out.
- Families who were too cheap to spring for the entire weekend.
- Hardcore gamblers out for a one-day shot at glory.
- Bachelorette parties.
In other words, it was a typical Saturday.
With one notable exception.
She was a statuesque, voluptuous, young blond goddess with a smile as powerful as a black hole, eyes equally deep and a manner that could disarm a charter member of the NRA in a heartbeat.
In other words, she was the girl next door, the babysitter most wives wouldn’t let their husband drive home and as the old folks say, a real looker. Her judgement however, was suspect, to say the least.
I dropped off her bags in short order and as I was leaving she took it upon herself to make my day truly memorable on more than one level. A ten-dollar bill left her hand and was eagerly grasped by mine. In fact, I nearly squealed like a schoolgirl when I cast my eyes upon the bill.
And why not? After all, I started my shift at 10 a.m and by the time of our meeting (3 p.m.) I has secured a nice round number in terms of the day’s gratuities: you guessed it, my pockets were empty. And so my reaction to my new best friend’s generosity was understandable, at least in my opinion.
“Miss, if it were appropriate or allowed, I’d hug you. You’ve made my day.”
It was at that point that matters took a decidedly, shall we say, “blue” turn?
She pounced, wrapping her arms around my bulky form – between my winter jacket and the various shirts I need to protect my forty-something body from the ravages of the Canadian winter, I had no less than five layers on – and drawing me close to her.
She smelled like youth. Think jasmine and non-degrading cells.
Her breath was simultaneously warm and moist. And young.
Her voice took on a husky, throaty, youthful tenor.
Did I mention she was young?
Her words were delivered slowly, with all the precision and timing of a surgeon. Or someone who had just finished reading all three Fifty Shades novels at once.
“You don’t have to go, you know,” she said, “You could hang around. My friend is open to new things.”
It was at that point I realized three things: She had a friend in the washroom, for the record, a female, who was apparently open to new things. I was actually having an experience that I could weave into a story that would begin with “I never thought it would happen to me…”
I had the ultimate amorous guest repelling weapon on my finger.
Or so I thought.
I pulled away from her and took a step back before saying “Actually, miss, I’m – ”
I raised my left hand to display my wedding ring …
Which was sitting on my nightstand at home.
“Damn.” was the only thing that came to mind. Fortunately, my new friend got the message. She flashed another killer smile my way, we gave each other a parting nod and I spent the next 20 minutes trying to remember my wife’s name.
Kidding. Sort of.
The Hook’s first book (Yes, rhyming is awesome!) is available for the Kindle or in print at amazon.com or amazon.ca. You’ll also find it at Pulp Comics, 4413 Queen St., Niagara Falls. Its a great read, even if you’re sober.